Friday, March 25, 2011

Business Cards

After 6 months in my current position I am getting business cards. I order them through Lenore.

Me: Lenore, I need to order business cards. Do you have a template or something I can look over?

Lenore: Oh, um, well, now let me see. (Digging around through her desk.) You know what, could you just get someone's business card, cross out their information and write yours on it?

Me: Yeah, I guess so.

L: Bueno!

(Five minutes later, I return with an altered business card.)

Me: Here you go.

L: (examining the card closely) Okay, that looks good. I'll just get this going. Oh, wait, do you want a box of 500 or 250?

Me: 250 is fine. I don't know that many people yet.

L: (erupting in laughter) Oh, Ryan! You're too much!

(Ten minutes later, Lenore comes into my office with a mock-up of my business card with the title reading "Alumni Relations, Event Coordinator".)

L: How's this look?

Me: Uh, fine..except my title says Alumni Coordinator, Manager Relations. Just have it say--.

L: (defensively) Well, that's what you put! I'm just typing what you put.

Me: No, I wrote Alumni Relations, Event Coordinator.

L: Well, if you're going to be picky. (She grabs the card and walks back to her desk.)

(Ten more minutes later Lenore returns with another mock-up of my card.)

L: How does this look, mister?

Me: (reading) Alumni Coordinator, Event Relations. Almost got it.

L: Well what's wrong now?

Me: Here, just swap these two words so it says Alumni Relations, Event Coord--.

L: Could you write that down for me?

(I write down the information again. Lenore leaves. Five minutes later Lenore returns.)

L: (handing me a third mocked-up business card) Here!

Me: Looks great. Thank you.

L: Did you look at the numbers and email? Are they right? I don't want to print these and have them come out with an error.

Me: (looking again) Uh, yeah. They're all correct. Thank you.

L: What about the fax number? You didn't change that.

Me: Don't we have a general office fax?

L: Yes.

Me: Isn't that the number? I don't know it by heart.

L: (examining fax number) So you don't want me to change it? You changed everything else on the card.

Me: Because it didn't need changing. There's only one fax in this office.

L: Oh, you don't have a fax machine?

Me: No.

L: (pointing to my printer) What's that?

Me: A printer.

L: You can't get faxes on it?

Me: Nope.

L: Too bad. I guess you'll just have to use the same fax as everyone else, mister.


Originally posted April 11, 2008


  1. I keep just wanting to say omg after reading every one of these. So just know that I'm saying omg every time.

  2. She is nuttier than squirrel shit.