Friday, March 25, 2011

Spray and Walk Away

Most every day Lenore sits at the front desk of the office reading back issues of Glamor and Elle magazines that she's pulled from the trash of a hair salon. Sometimes she answers phones and does her job. And sometimes her rotund friend Arturo comes for a visit. He wears A LOT of cologne.

Jay sits next to Lenore's cubical and is always annoyed with her. Today we had lunch and he wanted to tell me about a run-in he'd had with her after Arturo came for a visit. Below is my version of his retelling.


(Today Arturo, Lenore's friend, stops by for a visit and per usual assaults the office with his abundance of cologne. Jay, who is in nose and earshot of this is irked and having a difficult time breathing. When Arturo leaves Jay decides to mention something to Lenore about her friend's
spray-on indulgence.)

Jay: (peaking his head over his cubicle) Lenore, was that your friend?

Lenore: (craning neck) Oh, yes, yes.

J: Could he wear more cologne?

L: What do you mean?

J: Can't you smell him!? His cologne really bothers my eyes! I was going to say something earlier but I didn't want to be rude.

L: Well, uh, I don't smell anything. He's my friend. I don't say that you smell bad.

J: I don't wear cologne.

L: Maybe you should!

J: Your friend doesn't personally stink, but his cologne is very potent. It's just hard to breath.

L: (offended) Fine! I'll pass the message to him! Next time he comes in I'll say, (mimicking Jay) "Hello, you stink!"

J: You can just say, "Hello, don't marinate in your cheap cologne before coming into the office."

L: Humph!

BLACKOUT

Originally posted April 22, 2008

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