Friday, March 25, 2011

Turned on to New Things


It's a long day and Lenore is helping me with a 2,000-letter mass mailing. For hours we sit folding, stuffing, sealing and stamping.

(Hour one)

L: How did you get all these labels printed? It must have taken you a long time.

Me: No, just a few minutes.

L: Really!? This would have taken me weeks to type.

Me: I did a mail merge. On the computer.

L: I don't trust the internet. I prefer the typewriter. Less mistakes.

(Hour two)

L: Have you ever heard of a thing called a tamale?

Me: Uh, yes.

L: Well you haven't tried a New Mexico tamale. They're the best!

Me: What's in a New Mexican tamale?

L: Corn sometimes.

Me: I've had a corn tamale.

L: Well have you ever tried one with chicken?

Me: Yes.

L: What about pork? Shredded pork I mean?

Me: Yes.

L: Hm. I bet you've never tried one with green chili!

Me: Yes.

(Hour three)

L: What about peppers?

Me: Yes, I've tried one with peppers.

L: Well, you sound like you've tried every tamale ever made! How about one with beef and cheese?

Me: No, no, I haven't tried one of those.

L: Ha!

(Hour four)

L: I like to make my egg salad with eggs and mayonnaise. Do you know how to make egg salad?

Me: Yes. I make it all the time.

L: Well, I want to learn to make amazing egg salad. I've looked for all kinds of recipes and I can't find any! Do you know an amazing recipe?

Me: Well, I like spicy food--

L: Oh, me too! Me too!

Me: So, I'll put spicy dijon mustard in my egg salad.

L: What!?

Me: Yeah, and peas or pickles sometimes.

L: Wow! I've never heard of such a thing. Can you write that down for me?

(Hour five)

L: The union is great! You can sit at your desk and write a novel and they can't fire you.

Me: Is that so?

L: Look at me. I've been here for years. I mean I work and stuff.

Me: I've never been part of the union.

L: It's just the best. You know something, I was so scared to leave at 5:00 so I talked to our union president. He fights for all of our rights and now I can leave early everyday.

Me: Why were you afraid to leave at 5:00?

L: I live out in the Richmond and by the time I get home it's dark. And I don't want to deal with muggers and rapers.

Me: Rapers? Like, rapists?

L: Yeah, they're all out at night.

BLACKOUT

Originally posted March 7, 2008

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