Me: Lenore, do you have any Tylenol or Advil or something? I had some Motrin but forgot to bring it.
Lenore: Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear that. (Lenore pulls out her backpack and rummages through it.) I have some cough drops, would those help?
Me: No, my throat doesn't hurt. Just my head--or if you have something for congestion, that would be great too.
L: Well, sometimes I take these cough drops and, you know, they're those ones they take in that commercial where they're in, um, um...now let me think, you know. The one where they sing on that hill?
Me: Oh, um, Ricola?
L: No, they're, um, called tactoids or airroids or something like that. I just can't remember--
L: (thinking out loud) Altoids, Altoids...YES, that's them I think!
Me: Those aren't cough drops, they're just mints or gum.
L: Yes, but they are so strong, aren't they? I can feel them working when they're in my mouth.
L: Well, would you like those? I think I have them in here somewhere. (Lenore rummages through her bag some more.)
Me: No, that's okay. I'll go to the store instead. I need headache medicine.
L: WAIT! Oh, you know, I have some magic pills maybe. They're these pills I'll take if I have a muscle pain or something. They magically fix everything. OH, here they are!
(Lenore hands me the medicine bottle she finds in her bag.)
Me: Oh, this is Advil.
L: Is that how you say that?
Me: Yes, (reading label) Advil Arthritis Pain Relief.
L: Oh, well I call them magic pills* because I don't know how they work and plus, I can pronounce magic pills and not that word you said.
Me: Add. Add. Duh. Duh. Duh. Add-ville.
L: (swats hand toward me) Too hard.
*She seriously said "magic pills".
Originally posted June 10, 2009