Friday, July 27, 2012

That's a Wrap

As you may know, Lenore has retired.  She's packed up her dusty plastic plants, her photos of other people's babies, and her beloved fan.  She has been a great friend and one that might never know the impact she has made on me (and anyone that followed this blog).

In the coming months Lenore is going to work to sell her home and move out of state to be closer to her sister and family.  I've stopped short of begging to help her pack and move but she didn't seem too interested in my offer.  Still, I'm hopeful we'll meet again.  

So long, Lenore.  I will truly miss our chemistry.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Lenore is Retiring

(Lenore is retiring.  Tuesday, July 31, 2012 is her last day and sadly, very sadly in fact, I will be away on a business trip to Orlando and miss her farewell tour.  When I came in this morning, I reminded her of this fact.)

Me: So, are you really gone next Tuesday?

Lenore: Yes sir, I'm done.  El gone-oh.

Me: I won't be here.  I have to go to that conference all next week.

Lenore:  Oh, really?  Where are you going?

Me: Orlando.  It's going to be so muggy and hot.

Lenore: Florida?  That's Florida, right?  That place has a lot of colors and people wearing shorts.

Me: Yes, I guess. My hotel is supposed to have a really nice pool.

Lenore:  Great, I'll get my bikini. 

Me: Really?

Lenore: (swatting at the air) No.


Lenore Called Someone a Whore

(The main office boss retired and Lenore took it upon herself to put together a small photo album containing photos she took with a disposable camera of all of the staff to give as a gift.  Having recently completed this album, Lenore wanted to share her hard work with me.  She also added caption, think bubbles, to all of the photos.)

Lenore: (flipping through photos) ...and this one is Anthony, see, he's saying, "I don't want to do my work.  I want to play."  Isn't that funny?

Me: Yes.

Lenore: And this one, see, Martin says, "Bet you can't guess what's in my bag," and see, he's carrying a bag.

Me: Yes, I see. Where's mine?

Lenore: (flipping, flipping)  Here.  Remember I took it of you in the kitchen and here you're saying, "Now that Deborah is gone I'm going to take her coffee pot."

Me: Oh, I don't drink coffee but okay.

Lenore: It's just for fun.  Not real.  You're not really going to take the coffee pot.  (flipping, flipping)  And this one, see I had Bat Lady hold out all those dollar bills and smile and here it says, "I made this money working nights.  You can't have it!"

Me: Oh.  That sounds like she's a prostitute or something.

Lenore: Maybe she is...(flipping, flipping)...and here's George, "These donuts are the best!" and then Stacy is here saying...


Monday, July 9, 2012

My Son Was a Clown

(I'm sitting in my office with coworker, Elle, listening to a conversation taking place in front of our door.)

(Batlady enters carrying an old suitcase.)

Batlady: (interrupting din of the office, to Lynn)  Look, do you wanna see my suitcase?

Lynn:  Sure.

Batlady: See, it's really old and used to belong to my son.  He was a clown and used to juggle but now he doesn't and I have it.  I'm going to see if I can donate it.

Lynn: (from desk, not getting up)  Cool.

Batlady:  Yes, it's really cool.  I'm going to donate it to the theater department to use as a prop or something in a play.  It's got a lot of value.

Lynn: Oh.  It's cool.

(Lenore comes over and inspects bag.)

Lenore:  Hmm, I have lots of those.

Batlady:  Like this though?  This used to belong to my son who was a clown.  He would do kids' parties.  I don't think you had one like this.  Look how old it is.

Lenore: I see those all the time.

Batlady:  Well, this one was for a clown. (A few minutes later Batlady pokes her head in my office.)  Hey, did you guys see the suitcase I brought in?

Elle:  No, we heard you talking about it though.

Batlady:  I'm donating it to the theater department to use in a production or something.  It used to be my son's.  He was a clown.  You gotta see it.

Me: Where is it?

Batlady: In my office.  You have to come over there to see it.  Do you want to see it?

Me:  (together with Elle) Um, maybe later.

Elle:  (together with Me) That's okay.

Batlady: It's the real thing.  You should see it.

Elle: Can you bring it over here?

Batlady: Uh, well, it's kinda old and is falling apart a little.  But if you want to swing my by office to look at's just over there.

Me:  (together with Elle) After lunch maybe.

Elle:  (together with Me) Not right now.

(Batlady leaves, Lenore trundles into our office and starts to speak.)

Me: Wait.  Are you going to tell us about the clown luggage?

L: Huh, oh, Batlady's thing?  No.  There's all kinds of clown bags around.  It's not that special.